Come on Over to Barney's House 2000 Aired on NBC (August 6, 1996) Part 1
(In the New York City streets, where Fagin is driving the city on his motor scooter with the company and Oliver on board) * Fagin: This is the big one. We have two days to do or die! (to the dog) Dodger, you keep an eye on the new child. Show him the ropes. (Dodger gives Oliver a noogie) I don't wanna put any undue pressure on you, but...as you march off to do your duty, I want you to keep one fact in mind. Dead men do NOT buy dog food! Well, big grins, and get out there....and fetch! * (Fagin speeds off to do some pick-pocketing work, leaving his pets in the dust) * Dodger: Alright, if Mr. Sykes don't see some cold, hard cash, we are Doberman chow. C'mon. (He leads the gang to Columbus Avenue) * Oliver: What kind of work do we do any matter? * Tito: Investment banking, man. * (He takes a green apple from a box, then tosses it to Francis, who slyly tosses it to Rita, taking a bite out of it) * Tito: Didn't you read about us in the Wall Street Journal? * Oliver: Really? * Francis: Yes, captains of industry. * Oliver: Gosh! Can I be one as well?! * Dodger: Hey, if you had your pals, you had all you need. * Oliver: Alright, Dodge. * Rita: We have to clean you up, child, and give you some on-the-job training. * (With a grin, Rita begins to sing) * Rita: (sings) Ooo, yes. Now listen up. * (The group stops at a crosswalk for a second) * Rita: (singing) You have a lot to learn and if you don't learn you don't eat. * (A bread truck comes by and hits a bump. It makes a loaf of bread fall from the truck and bounces off Einstein's head. Then Dodger grabs it and tosses to Tito, who gets knocked down by it. Then, they cross the street) * Rita: (singing) But if you're hard and always use your head. * (As she says this, Oliver hits a mailbox by mistake. Chuckling, Dodger helps Oliver up) * Rita: (singing) You'll be right at home on the street. * (Grinning, Oliver stands next to Rita and walks next to her in a cool fashion) * Rita: If you had talent, everything is free. Watch how we do facts, ooo, I guarantee. * (Soon, the others, but the dogs join in the song as they jump into the street, making the car stop to let them pass) * Chorus: (singing) You're gonna see how the best survive, we make an art out of staying alive. * (Oliver tries to head across, but the cars start moving again, getting him stuck. Dodger rushes in to rescue him. Then, Oliver is saved. Soon, he gets them to where the gang is as they walk on) * Chorus: (singing) If you do just as you're warned, these are streets of gold. * (As they see more spectacles, Oliver grins at the sights) * Chorus: (singing) Every boulevard is a miracle mile. * (Oliver stops as he is frightened at something his road; a mangy dog) * Chorus: (singing) You'll take the town and you'll take it with style. * (The dog chases after Oliver. Then he stops and is alarmed as Dodger and the others frown and snarl at the dog) * Chorus: (singing) If you play it brave and bold. * (The dog yelps as he runs off. The others see Oliver frowning and barking at him like a crazy dog) * Chorus: (singing) These are streets of gold! * (As the group moves on, everyone laughs. But then, they bump into each other, coming to a halt, though a smirking Tito forces Francis to trip on Rita on purpose)